COSMIC LOVE REPORT
How to Help Barrack Grow
by Jan Spiller
Born in Honolulu, HI at 19:24 on 1961-08-04
This report reveals how you can help support someone significant in your life on their path of growth and healing. The interesting thing is that when you support another person in developing a part of themselves they subconsciously WANT to develop, they don’t resist you, and in fact are appreciative. The key is to see objectively where the other person needs strength and encouragement, from their point of view.
Astrology allows us to view one another objectively, without judgment or projection. A person’s astrological chart gives us a clear understanding of their individual adaptations, fears, values, and desires – and a sense of their own personal “style” when they are truly being themselves. With this perspective, how can we take another person’s style personally – condone or condemn them – or in any way seek to judge them? We are all simply being ourselves, outwardly demonstrating the internal mechanisms we experience 24 hours a day.
Naturally, if a person’s internal mechanism is being expressed in ways that are physically harmful to others, that cannot be allowed. It’s fine to be ourselves, as long as we are not overtly interfering with – or harming – someone else. And, of course, it’s a matter of personal preference – usually based on how one person’s style resonates with ours – who we choose to spend time with on a regular basis.
The idea of astrology is not to try to “fit” another person into society’s picture of a desirable “norm.” Rather, it’s to objectively understand, through the other person’s natal chart, their desires, what they need for fulfillment, the nature of their fears, and how they can most successfully rise above obstacles given their own unique internal mechanism. The aim is not to try to change another person’s style or basic manner, but to assist them in expressing their own innate character in a way that is going to bring them the positive results they want to experience in their life.
The irony is that once you help another person to heal – to encourage them in bringing out the best in themselves – their own innate potential for wholeness is restored. This benefits you, as well as them. They not only become happier within themselves, they become more loving with you.
Leo North Node
How You Can Help Barrack Heal
Encourage Creative Approaches and Activities
As a Leo North Node person, Barrack has taken a back seat to the joy and creativity of others for so long that he has put his own creative spirit on hold. Rather than actively working to make a situation happier for everyone concerned – including himself – Barrack often gives in too easily and just goes along with what others want.
Encourage Barrack to find creative approaches and take action to shift situations in a positive direction that would make him happy – and it will make those around him happier as well. For example, if Barrack’s primary relationship is getting dry and boring, instead of letting him give up on it, encourage him to initiate shared activities that will rekindle the romantic spark. If he lacks confidence, suggest that he “act out a role” that he thinks will lead to the outcome he desires.
Notice Barrack’s talents – maybe it’s art, writing, music, public speaking, or acting. Support him in developing these creative interests and prompt him to pursue activities that bring these gifts into expression. Barrack feels happy when he loses himself in a creative project, and a part of him that was unsatisfied becomes full to the brim! Then his joy naturally uplifts all those around him.
It is also important for Barrack to exercise the power of his creative will. When he makes a decision that requires will power – and then activates that energy to achieve his goal – the whole process becomes exhilarating for him. Encourage Barrack to use his will power – it is his friend and ally in this lifetime.
Inspire Barrack to Take Risks and Follow His Heart
Barrack needs to feel the energy of taking risks and living life with excitement and involvement. One way to help him do this is to encourage sports activities, especially those that require him to completely immerse himself in the experience. For example, skiing, parachute jumping, and surfing all would evoke the excitement Barrack needs and demands his total involvement. Support his participation in any sport that attracts him.
Barrack is great at games, and playing brings out his inner child and helps him to experience joy. Also, encourage him to take risks in other areas of his life. Because Barrack naturally sees the objective picture, his choices are usually very good. But if he hesitates, you can remind him that once he takes the risk, if the results are not what he was aiming for, he can always readjust his approach and try again. Since Barrack is forever trying to see the “Big Picture,” you can often motivate him by suggesting he view the risk as an experiment from which he will gain information that can help him glimpse the Bigger Picture and guide him to the next step he needs to take in the situation.
Barrack has denied himself the pleasure of following his heart in so many lifetimes that now it often feels like he is “emotionally flat.” His challenge is to get his heart going again and regain his passion for life. Sometimes Barrack needs a lot of support to begin making choices based on what makes his heart happy. He can start in little ways, but don’t let him get away with more postponement!
Prompt him to spend time in physical activities that bring him pleasure – dancing, fishing, exercising – or suggest creative outlets that attract him like acting, painting, music, crafts, or other forms of artistic expression that bring him joy as he does it. Encourage Barrack to spend time with people who make him happy just by being around them. Investing his energy in activities that open his heart honors and validates the passionate part of himself, allowing it to become stronger and take its rightful place in his personality.
Arouse Barrack to Demonstrate His Love
Barrack needs to take ACTION and DO something to SHOW what he’s feeling! Backing up his words with physical action proves that his words are based on something real. For example, if Barrack says, “I care about you,” he needs to DO things that the other person will interpret as demonstrations of his caring. If the other person loves flowers and Barrack follows up by bringing flowers – or something else that will light up that person’s face and bring them pleasure – he is DEMONSTRATING his caring feelings.
Barrack tends to live in the practical, rational world of words. Encourage him to physically DO things for others and the responses he get will be emotional and will trigger his own emotions. It will help to open him up and then he can get what he is longing for. Barrack WANTS that emotion coming to him, and he doesn’t understand why he usually doesn’t get it. Especially encourage him to take this kind of action with his significant other, because when he does, he will find the love that he craves coming back to him.
Encourage Barrack’s Generosity
When Barrack withholds generosity with others, those people also tend to withhold generosity towards him. This leads to a downward spiral where no one feels special in the relationship. The best way to help Barrack with this issue is to reverse this trend by really going out of your way to be generous with him. For instance, if you want Barrack to be more romantic with you, you become more romantic with him. Buy him gifts or cards of appreciation, take him out to dinner, or find other ways to show him how special he is to you.
Be GENEROUS with Barrack so he can experience how wonderful it is to really be special to someone else. Then he will be much more likely to do things to make you feel that you are special to him. And when Barrack does start being generous and takes an action to please you, let him know how much you appreciate it and give him lots of positive reinforcement. Take the time to enjoy being the recipient of Barrack’s spoiling and let your own specialness shine, as this will validate the impact of his actions toward you. In this way, the energy between you will begin to flow in a more satisfying way for both of you.
Also, Barrack loves his friends and has a friendly attitude toward others. If you can help him to see that demonstrating generosity supports friendship and equality in the world – that “it’s the friendly thing to do” – he will be more likely to do it. Encourage Barrack to show generous actions towards others he cares about – to go out of his way to help a friend, or buy a child a toy just because it will make the child feel special. Help Barrack to understand that when he ignites the feeling of “being special” in others, he will begin to see the specialness in himself – and this will be very healing and nurturing for him.
Support Barrack in Having Fun
When Barrack is involved in an activity, ask him: “Are you still having fun with this?” If the answer is yes, encourage him because he’s on track. If Barrack’s answer is “no,” suggest that he stop and reevaluate . He either needs to change his approach to the situation or change the situation itself. If he is not having fun, he’s “off path.” So cheer Barrack on in pursuing activities that make him happy. Ask him what He wantsâ€¦help him get in touch with what he would like to have happen and what would make HIM happy in the situation (trip, party, relationship, business meeting, etc.)
When Barrack is involved in activities that allow him to experience personal pleasure, he is fanning the fire of his joyful emotional body and opening his heart. Encourage Barrack to play – to bring out the joy and the playful spirit of his inner child – and when he is playing and having fun, validate him.
Sometimes Barrack can get over-serious in dealing with peers. Remind him to see other people as children and to experiment with playing with the inner child of the other person. This will help him to gain confidence and allow his relationships to take on a lighter note. Then life will become a lot more fun for everyone involved!
Habits to Discourage
Postponing creative action: Barrack has a constant feeling that he can’t do anything because “my ducks aren’t in a row yet.” Discourage his habit of postponement and being distracted by whatever stimulus arises in his environment, and support him in focusing on moving forward and accomplishing tasks and goals that are important to him.
Inaction because Barrack doesn’t see “the Big Picture”: Encourage Barrack to take the next step in front of him and know that the path will reveal itself as he goes along. If he follows his attraction to whatever makes him feel vital and alive, the end result will be something that is best for all concerned.
“Going with the Flow”: When Barrack “goes with the flow” he flows right down the drain! Barrack submits too easily to peer pressure, so discourage him from postponing experiences that would be emotionally nurturing for him by allowing himself to be distracted by the demands of others. Encourage him to pursue choices that make him personally happy, rather take the route that is “practical.”
Conclusion: Why We Try to Change Others
Although we are born on planet Earth as highly individualized beings, we simultaneously retain a deep-seated memory of the ultimate spiritual truth – that we are all One. It has been my experience that we often strive to create that sense of Oneness and unconditional Love with others by wanting to see them as being “just like us.” Of course this doesn’t work. In fact, our attempts to coerce others into being what we want them to be actually defeats the very intimacy and Love we seek.
To try and change another person into something they aren’t is a waste of time and energy, and in the process the other person ends up feeling invalidated. Nobody wins. By understanding another person’s unique self – their internal wiring – you can help them regain internal balance by bringing forth the qualities within them they are scheduled to develop this lifetime. As you evoke the traits they need encouragement and help with, they blossom and are a much more pleasant person for you to be around.
The experience of true Oneness can never be achieved through “sameness.” It can only be created when it is based on the recognition that although – on the most profound level – we are all One, on the level of daily life, we are each on our own path, having the experiences we need to have in order to complete our curriculum of learning on planet Earth.
© Jan Spiller; much of the above material is included as part of Jan Spiller’s book Cosmic Love.
Other Love Reports by Jan Spiller
To discover the purpose behind your partnership, and the best approach for success, we recommend the report Successfully Working as a Team.
To find out more about YOUR North Node, and the practical steps you can take to create success in your partnership, we recommend the report How To Help Your Partner Grow.