JAN’S DIARY . . . . . Nobody To Blame

by Jan Spiller

One of the gifts of learning astrology is gaining the objectivity to take the events of life less personally.
Several years ago, I had followed my original spiritual teacher to his new teaching location in Puerto Rico. At that time, a primary goal for me was to “pop over” into the state of Enlightenment. 
As I took that goal very seriously, I spent at least a third of my time in Ashrams and other places that encouraged intense spiritual unfoldment. Thus, for me to disrupt my life and move to Puerto Rico for six months to study with this teacher was simply “part of the path.”
One morning I awakened in the tiny condo I was renting and I felt very angry. I kept trying to “brush off” the mood, fill my mind with positive thoughts and go about my business:  peeling the wonderful fresh fruit of Puerto Rico to prepare it for breakfast. 
The mood of anger kept returning. IMMEDIATELY my mind began making judgments about my spiritual teacher: “He did ______ to me!” “He said _______ and it just wasn’t true!” I would catch my mind thinking those thoughts (which really agitated the mood of anger), and I would say to myself: “What am I thinking? He didn’t do anything to me.” Then, I would relax. 
A few moments would pass and the mood of anger would . . . . .
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