How You Fit Into Your Partner's Lifeby Jan Spiller

Born in , at on
Born in , at on



Igniting the Flow of Love
Potential Areas of Concern
Best Approach
Past-Life Influences




This report, based on where your North Node falls in a significant other's birth chart, describes the gifts that you are bringing to this person. By becoming aware of the special gifts that you are destined to give them, you can more easily activate the flow of Love in your relationship. As you consciously act to bring them your gifts, they will become more aware of you, and the flow of Love and appreciation between you will be stimulated.

In the process of consciously giving these gifts, the best in you is also evoked and strengthened. When you benefit someone in a specific area of their life, they simultaneously begin to benefit you in that same area. For example, if your North Node falls in another's 10th House and you are a helpful influence in terms of their profession, regardless of the placement of their North Node in your chart, they will also be a positive influence in your profession.

So in a way there are two gifts: the gift another is destined to give you through their North Node placement, and the reciprocal support they will give you simply because you are giving it to them!



Because your North Node is in 's 1ST HOUSE, you are bringing <him> the gifts of:


Because your North Node falls in 's 1st House, you are helping <him> appreciate <his> own shining nature! Your influence automatically helps tune into <his> true inner self and individual strengths. You are aware of 's gifts, talents, and abilities that <he> doesn't even see in <him>self. You can also identify how <he> chooses to be "less than <his> best" by holding back and not demonstrating <his> innate specialness to others. Actively support in strengthening the areas in which <he> is not fully functional, while pointing out all of <his> positive attributes.

Life has brought you across 's path to recognize and validate <him>, and to support <him> in actualizing <his> potential. Subconsciously, has called out to you because this particular gift of Love that you bring is what <he> needs at this point in <his> life. Your awareness of 's value and abilities is authentic, based on a true deeper perception of who <he> really is and the importance of what <he> has to offer.

You have the unique capacity to positively focus on , encourage <him>, and increase <his> self-awareness and strength. Something about <him> naturally inspires you to motivate <him> into action! You give confidence in the flow of <his> own impulses and the power of <his> independent energy. And when you consciously participate in strengthening and encouraging <his> own direction in this way, it not only benefits <him> but also brings out the best in you.



Another reason the Universe has brought you into 's life is that you are aware of any self-limiting dependency <he> may have on others. You feel drawn to help break that dependency by showing <him> how powerful <he> is on <his> own. Your influence encourages <him> to express <him>self and claim <his> independence.

You know how to actively listen to what wants – what <he> deeply desires - and to support <him> in bringing it about independently. Your energy can nurture in a healthy way that strengthens <him> as an individual. All of a sudden <he> will stand up straight and get going on <his> path! You help acquire the courage, independence, and energy <he> needs to take action on achieving <his> goals.

Even if you work on a joint project together - or if is your employee - you interact with <him> in a way that increases <his> sense of independence. You naturally recognize 's talents and what <he> likes to do, and you give <him> tasks that are suited to <his> nature. Whatever is doing, it will feel natural to <him>. You won't force <him> to change <his> nature to accommodate you.

As you bring Love to by encouraging <his> independence, and help <him> gain the confidence <he> needs to take action in pursuing <his> dreams, you also actualize the best part of yourself!


Strength and Leadership

One of your purposes in 's life is to inspire <him> to take the lead and express <his> strength on <his> own terms. You have the ability to bring Love to by encouraging <him> to initiate and actively take charge! In response, <he> feels that you are an extremely positive influence in <his> life.

You are bringing the gift of self-recognition, so that <he> can gain confidence to assume a leadership role in <his> own life. At first, you will have more trust than does in <his> ability to initiate and demonstrate leadership. Your faith in helps <him> see for <him>self how successful <he> can be when <he> takes the lead.

Encourage to be more daring - to take chances and express <him>self so that <his> life will be more under <his> jurisdiction. can feel you are sensitive to <him>, and <he> is aware of your support. As you actively bring Love in the form of validating <his> innate boldness, <his> appreciation sends Love back to you.

Being drawn into this relationship is a signal that it's time for you to increase your counseling skills and your ability to truly support another. You will feel like you are empowering and yet, in the process of giving <him> this gift of Love and consciously encouraging <his> self-confidence and boldness, the best in you is naturally evoked. By validating 's desires and urging <him> to take the initiative to go after what <he> wants in life, you are exercising the "muscle" of your own North Node and increasing your own strength and self-confidence in a healthy, balanced way.


Personal Effectiveness

You have the ability to see the ways expresses <him>self that do not honor <his> own strength and <his> ability to shift outcomes. You can make clear for how certain aspects of <his> personality are blocking <him> from properly presenting <him>self and <his> position, and how this prevents others from seeing the value of what <he> has to offer.

For example, if is concerned about an upcoming interview with an authority figure, you can advise <him> on the right approach and coach <him> on the phrases to say that will put <him> in a position of autonomy and power in the situation. You are in 's life to give <him> insights about <him>self that help <him> overcome <his> fears and make <him> more effective. As gains awareness of <his> true inherent strengths, <his> personality will naturally become stronger and more dynamic.

Another way that you can increase 's personality effectiveness is to notice and appreciate - and support <him> in enhancing - <his> physical appearance. You may do this directly, or by referring <him> to the right professional who can help <him> achieve <his> goals in this area. Either way, you are "good karma" for in terms of <his> appearance.

As you open the gates to Love in this relationship by bringing the gift of validating <his> attractive qualities, it will be easy for you to compliment <him>. You naturally see when <he> does something that improves <his> looks: loses (or gains) weight, wears a color that sets off <his> skin or eyes, has a new hairstyle that looks good on <him>, etc. If is in a sad mood, you will know what to say to raise <his> spirits by giving <him> a sincere compliment on <his> physical appearance.

Just as it comes naturally for you to increase 's confidence in <his> attractiveness, you also will instinctively refer <him> to people who can help <him> improve <his> appearance. This might be a nutritional consultant, seamstress, dentist, plastic surgeon, or hair stylist. For example, I had a client who wanted to lose 30 pounds before her wedding, but she couldn't seem to muster the discipline. Her friend, whose North Node was in her 1st House, referred her to a nutritionist who successfully helped my client lose the weight by her deadline.

Any time you bring the gift of Love to by consciously shining the spotlight on <him> in a positive way, <he> will appreciate your input and respond by sending Love back to you. And in the process of giving what <he> needs to gain confidence and personal effectiveness, subconsciously you will be fine-tuning your capacity to accurately strengthen others in healthy ways. This helps you learn how to evoke invaluable tools for empowering others from within yourself.



If you are in 's life for a brief time, then it may be that <his> Soul has called out for someone to help <him> gain more self-awareness and confidence in terms of <his> own personal strength, and you are here for that purpose. However, if this is a relationship meant to last over a long period of time, then you may well have a deep karmic connection and have made a promise to help <him> in a past life. Either way, as you encourage 's independence and leadership, you may subconsciously repel any attempts <he> makes to depend on you, or even to form a team with you.

Even if this is a marriage relationship, when you feel wanting to combine with you, you instinctively create a situation that pushes <him> into building <his> self-sufficiency and strength apart from you. This can happen in a pleasant way - with an awareness of the gift you are giving and an encouraging, loving attitude. Or, this can happen in a more abrasive way, such as fighting with when <he> gets too close. Unconsciously, you may end up pushing <him> to become totally independent at the expense of the partnership. If you want this to be an ongoing relationship, it is to your advantage to consciously make some different choices.

If this is a primary relationship where the very structure implies a certain amount of cooperation and inter-dependency, be aware that unknowingly, in the process of helping develop <his> independence, you may be depriving <him> of the relaxed interdependency of the bond. To remedy this, you might choose to actively plan times for doing things together based on <his> ideas of what would be fun or meaningful. Ask to initiate and let you know times when <he> needs your help.

Encourage 's leadership in being the person who comes up with the ideas for things you can do together and let <him> know how much you appreciate that. It is also good to support in having relationships with others <he> can lean on - a business partner, golfing buddy or best friend who can further fulfill any needs <he> has for interdependency.

If resists your gift of helping <him> to become more independent, your best bet is to validate <his> partnership abilities, and then re-focus on the benefits of independence. For example: "I appreciate your natural abilities for teamwork, and I really think that your developing more independence and leadership will strengthen our relationship."



You have come into 's life because, on some deep level, <he> has "sounded the call" for help in growing stronger in <his> confidence as an individual. So it is always a good approach to ask <him> questions about <him>self: "How do you feel about that?" "What happened to you after that?" or "What is it you would like to create in this situation?"

Your purpose is to help get more in touch with <him>self. And by being interested in <him> and in what <he> thinks and feels, you gain the closeness of really understanding <him>.

Help to bolster <his> independence by pointing out <his> self-sufficiency. Remind <him> that when <he> takes the lead, the situation <he> is involved in works out in a way that makes <him> happy. In giving the gift of recognizing <his> innate independence, the best in you is also evoked. Encourage to pursue activities that help <him> learn more about <him>self – perhaps psychotherapy, an artistic endeavor, or some other activity which will lead <him> to discover other aspects of <his> unique nature.



In a past incarnation, you created a co-dependency with that robbed <him> of <his> initiative and independence in a way that is still affecting <him> in this lifetime. This is especially true if your South Node conjoins a planet in 's 7th House. You may have been the husband and was the subservient wife who was totally dependent on you. Possibly you used in some way - perhaps as a slave - and so in this lifetime you have a debt to repay. You have the obligation to encourage 's own personal strength and help <him> rebuild <his> self-confidence. Then will recognize <his> wholeness and become responsible for <his> own survival.

You have a special ability to bring out 's innate gifts in a way that helps <him> realize how capable <he> is. You see <his> latent talents - the skills and abilities of which <he> may not even be aware - and can help <him> bring those talents into expression so that <he> experiences a sense of self-fulfillment where <he> used to feel empty inside.

You are in a unique position to be an instrument of healing for . As you demonstrate Love by encouraging <his> independence and strength, your gift to <him> heals any psychic scars you may have from past unions with this Soul.



What goes around, comes around. The more you effectively benefit those around you, the more comes back to you. The deeper secret though, is to give for the joy of giving – for the flowering you see occurring in the other person's life. Only then is it possible to give without attachment to the results of your giving.

© Jan Spiller; much of the above material is included as part of Jan Spiller's book Cosmic Love.
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Other Love Reports by Jan Spiller

To discover the gifts that your partner is bringing into your life, and how to consciously receive them to open the channel of Love between you, we recommend the report Destiny's Rewards Through Important Relationships.

To find out about your PARTNER'S North Node, and how you can support them on their path, we recommend the report How To Help Your Partner Grow.

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